“The B.E.F. Times” was one of the incarnations of the publication that started as “The Wipers Times” in the British trenches in the First World War. Amongst the horror and carnage of that war, the writers – front-line soldiers – proved the cathartic power of comedy and satire, subversively poking fun at their superiors and … Continue reading “With the usual apologies”
On the Fairies at the Bottom of my Garden
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwAyAZ25TWQ NB this article contains spoilers as to the true nature of Santa Claus. It was a Christmas Eve when I was about 10 or 11; I was sat sorting tree decorations with my Mam in the living room. Gradually the Wilson household had developed the tradition of putting up the tree and decorations in … Continue reading On the Fairies at the Bottom of my Garden
On Halloween Traditions
Today is, of course, Halloween (or properly Hallowe’en), the perfect excuse to have a night in with a spooky DVD, demand sweets with menaces or just get smashed while dressed as the zombie you’ll undoubtedly feel like in the morning. I used to quite like (‘scuse split infinitive) Halloween at home in North-East England because, … Continue reading On Halloween Traditions
On “YOLO”
There are some phrases I just don’t use, even ironically. “Yolo” is one of them. Well, I used it once, a couple of weeks ago when trying to convince a mate to go out on the town and stay up until his bus arrived in the early morning. It just slipped out into my text, … Continue reading On “YOLO”
On Hangover Cures
Last night I drank enough vodka to fell a Russian soldier. This morning I woke up with a stonking headache. I am assuming that this is a case of cause and effect, unless at some point in the night I got into an argument with Thor and he/she introduced Mjolnir to my head (which is … Continue reading On Hangover Cures
On Commonplace Cultural Differences
I just recently returned from spending a month in a language school in Florence. Now obviously certain things in Italy are quite different from their counterparts in the UK – well, if the culture wasn’t a bit different, then what’s the point of going abroad? It’s not as if I turned up and freaked out … Continue reading On Commonplace Cultural Differences
The Wrong Escape
This opening to a story is inspired by a recurring dream I had, where a couple of friends appeared in my room in Florence, swore and jumped out the window. I never stayed asleep long enough to work out why they did that. “Fuck you!” he shouted, jumping from the window. Wilkins sighed. It was … Continue reading The Wrong Escape
On Domestic Explosions
“Kitchens should not be covered in brown, sticky liquid.” This perhaps obvious thought crossed my mind recently when I found the aforementioned substance drenching the sink, window and work surfaces in a three-metre radius from the plug. Turns out it wasn’t a tap-based fault, but another resident’s coke can was responsible. He’d put it in … Continue reading On Domestic Explosions
Scranshums 