Hermione Granger and the Rickly Hallows

It is exactly page 295 of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. The middle of paragraph 5, to be precise. HARRY and HERMIONE are mucking about with her Time-Turner and have just saved the Hippogriff BUCKBEAK from execution. SCENE: Edge of the Forbidden Forest, dusk. HARRY and HERMIONE are leading BUCKBEAK behind bushes. A … Continue reading Hermione Granger and the Rickly Hallows

Carry On, Don’t Lose Your Head

Just because you’ve been decapitated doesn’t mean you have to stop helping your friends. On and off over the past couple of months I’ve been researching into one of my favourite magic cases about a man planning to trap a spirit inside a severed head, and today I realised – bugger – that I’ve been … Continue reading Carry On, Don’t Lose Your Head

Commonplace Cultural Differences 3: USA All the Way

I’ve recently returned from a two-week sojourn in the USA. I'd never been before, though it did feel like I had because everything looked familiar from all the TV and pop culture I’ve ingested over the years. (Honestly, I walked around a mall seeing shops and finally getting jokes I’d never got before. I was … Continue reading Commonplace Cultural Differences 3: USA All the Way

Dick Tales (with apologies to Disney’s ‘Duck Tales’)

It is a truth universally acknowledged that genitalia are funny (and that starting an article in such a way is a massive cliché, I’m sorry). Especially dicks. All through history you can find graffiti of penises, crude jokes and the like. I really don’t know why – perhaps it’s to be edgy, explore taboo ideas … Continue reading Dick Tales (with apologies to Disney’s ‘Duck Tales’)

A Cynical Shop Assistant’s Guide to Christmas Songs

One shop I work in has no Christmas music. This is a blessed relief, but does mean there’s no respite from the frankly odd year-long playlist. The other shop I work at has only two Christmas music CDs. Here are my responses to these tunes, which I’ve had rattling around my head since the start … Continue reading A Cynical Shop Assistant’s Guide to Christmas Songs

On Christmas Shopping Etiquette

So it’s about a week till Christmas – all sorted yet? Me too. This year I’ve had the pleasure of working in two retail xmas temp jobs which have been pretty enjoyable on the whole (not least the staff discounts; between both shops I got all my gifts covered). One is a local geeky shop, … Continue reading On Christmas Shopping Etiquette

On: It was the Undergraduate, in the Library, with the Beanbag

Over the course of my academic career – comprising of school, an undergraduate degree and two dissertations – I have used 14 libraries on an average of 3 per week, been thrown out of 1 and walked the length of the Trans-Siberian railway in going to find a book and forgetting to take the sheet … Continue reading On: It was the Undergraduate, in the Library, with the Beanbag